I feel lost and alone

I had really hoped that I was pregnant and the spotting I had the past few days was implantation bleeding, but now it's definitely a period. I know I was on birth control but I had hoped it had failed. I was still had just barely started it when we had unprotected sex. I do really want a baby and I only really got on birth control because the relationship was so new. I know I should think if it as a good thing since I did break up with him and since I'm still love someone else. But with my period starting, I just feel like everything I ever wanted is far away. I feel so alone and completely lost. I also feel like this is the universe's way of telling me I would have been a bad mom. I know I should accept my life for what it is, but it's really hard to keep going. All I really want to right now is cry but I can't since I'm at work.