I thought I was ready....but I don't think I am


My SO and I had talked about having kids. When it was first brought up we decided together we wanted to wait at least a year from when we talked a out it. A few months later that changed when he asked me to stop taking BC. We talked and figured it would take a little since I had been on BC for a while and my AF never was normal. Well sure enough. Stopped taking it, and we just found out were expecting.

Here is the thing, we started to fight recently over really stupid things because he had hurt me and destroyed the trust with lies. I now am finding myself having a hard time trying to let him earn my trust back.

I've been crying on and off for two weeks now over everything. I honestly don't think I can handle having a child with him right now, I feel it's extremely important we are in stable ground before we bring a life into ours.....

I'm so unsure what to do at this point....advice? Words of wisdom?