Our daughter is 6 days old. Today has been our first full day home from the hospital. We went home, had her first check up, and got sent right back for bilirubin levels. It really sucked but we finally got out last night so today was our first full day home. Unfortunately it's also his last day off, he goes back to work tomorrow.. well at this point I'm almost glad about that. I'm definitely scared to be on my own while he's gone but I'm so fucking irritated with him right now.

I pushed a small human out of my crotch but you should hear HIS complaints. All week he complained any time anything touched his arm where he got the tdap vax. He complained about his sleep (even though he doesn't even wake up to her cries 💔). He complains when he has gas or heartburn, even going so far as to say "ugggh I'm dying" over and over..yet he won't move when I tell him to take a tums. He doesn't understand how little sympathy I have when he didn't have any sympathy for me for the last 5 months when I've had constant heartburn. He gets all pouty and butt hurt when I don't want him touching my boobs, as if I need any help getting those leaking. His back hurts.. must be hurting more than mine even though they literally stabbed me about 12 times for the epidural.. even though he hasn't even seemed interested in holding her..

He's only changed a handful of diapers. And he's only fed her once! We weren't doing too well breast feeding so we've been doing expressed milk in bottles for now to make sure she's gaining and eating enough.. but I'm still apparently the only one who can feed her. It would kinda be nice to pump while she's drinking but the whole cycle takes an hour bc I have no help whatsoever..

Today, he slept until almost 1pm.. I was up for good since 10:30 and barely had time to eat for myself between feeding her, pumping my boulders, letting the dog out, changing explosive poop diapers, and feeding the cat. I really wanted a quick shower bc I woke up soaked in milk 😑 he woke up cranky and complaining for no good reason. In his defense, he did make me some breakfast (after I had already scarfed a cold slice of leftover pizza down) and watched her in her bouncy chair while I showered for 10 minutes..

But I'm just so sick of him acting like a giant baby. Am I wrong to think he needs to grow up and take care of himself? We talked about it after this afternoon when he went back to bed... he rolled over and put his head under the covers when she started crying and I fucking snapped. I picked her up to go warm a bottle and sobbed my heart out in the kitchen. I thought he would want to spend more time with us with it being his last day at home.. and when we talked about it, I ended up just feeling guilty and embarrassed and heartbroken. He said he asks me how I'm doing, but to me I feel like he only asks or cares how I'm doing is when I'm crying.

Anyway, I just needed to vent. He's going grocery shopping shortly so I can weep again..

Anyone else having a hard time with their SO? I know it's just temporary but I really can't even deal with it while I'm trying to take care of a newborn! 😭