Negative

For me it's very hard to show my emotions I was always taught to hold it in but my husband and I have been trying for a couple of years now and have been really trying for about 4 months and every time the test said the two words that make my stomach drop "not pregnant" I feel like it's my fault like I'm doing something wrong like I have failed once again... I guess I'm writing this because I just want to know how can I deal with constantly seeing "not pregnant" ... Any suggestions ? :-/