Is it selfish....??

Question

I know an older woman who is nearing her 40's. She hasn't started her family yet and is wanting 3 kids. People have called her selfish because of her age....they say how wil she raise 3 kids? At that age what if they have disabilities? How will you afford 3 kids? You're too old!!! Is she being selfish?? I feel so bad for her 😥everyone deserves to be a mom...........

Answer

If she is healthy there's no reason she won't live well into her 80-90s. What's the problem?

Answer

My mom was 45 when she got me and did an amazing job raising me. Although she didn't give birth to me because she suffered an extremely bad miscarriage at 20 and it caused her to have to have a hysterectomy so she has no biological children she is amazing!!!! Everyone deserves to be a mom.

Answer

She isnt selfish for wanting to be a mom but to have 3 kids when you just starting around 40 years old is unfortunately probably unlikely. I mean each pregnancy is 9 months then for babies health and mommies health you should wait about 12 months (6-18 months at least)  to start ttc again. Plus with age pregnancies are usually harder as is getting pregnant..plus some women dobt get pp cycles while breastfeeding so if you breastfeed over a year thats over a year before you can even think about ttc. Ttc with age often takes longer. So you looking at her having a 3rd at the earliest at 45 and thats pretty much at the earliest. Plus having back to back pregnancies is hard and pre term labour and complications and drain on moms body are very high. I got pregnant 8 months pp and i had short cervix issues and lots of pressure and preterm labour scares and my bodies vitamins were pretty depleted and i was exhausted though super happy...this time it will be a 3 year difference just for health reasons...saying this i was 22 when i had my first and 23 when i had my 2nd!

Answer

I didn't have the right partner until later in life, we are currently expecting our first and I'm 39, pregnancy is going well and hopefully our little bundle will keep us young and healthy :)

Answer

Some people prefer to wait until later in life to have their babies and that is their right. It doesn't make them selfish for wanting to have done things earlier in life that didn't involve kids, or wanting to have a good solid career and relationship. Everybody has their own preference for when they have their kids and how many they want. She may change her mind and not want three she may decide 1-2 is good for her or she may want more. It isn't for anybody else to say. They aren't the ones raising these kids and taking care of them. Is it selfish for somebody in their 20's to have a kid? They can be in a horrible accident that paralyses them for the rest of their life and not be able to be very active in their child's life, or die at a young age. Life happens no matter what your age and plans. It isn't selfish of anybody to have kids at the age they want them.

Answer

It all depends on what type of person she is, my mum was in her 40's when she had me don't get me wrong she did an amazing job but  as a kid I always wished she was younger and would do stuff with me rather than falling asleep and leaving my siblings to take care of me. As an adult now I know her struggles and can say she did amazing working 3 jobs and raising 4 children. 
So guess you would have to look at your friends circumstances and look at how her age and ability to keep up with 3 young children 
Would be. Everyone is different you can't define good mothering by age.

Answer

Ok so the only problem I see with this is the age gap. My mom had a child at 40 then another at 45 but her first was at 19! 
My 2 younger sisters felt like my parents were too old for them. They couldn't really do much with them. I remember my baby sister coming home crying one day because one of her friends at school though my mom and dad were her grandparents. I mean this other girl's mom was probably like in her early 30's. My dad is now 70 and my mom 60 something and my sister is 21. She feels like they should have never had her to begin with.

Answer

Being 22 and having kids is no guarantee that you can handle them or have the resources to raise them. You're just as likely to be hit by a bus or any manner of unexpected accident at 22 as 40. Health problems strike at 22 as well as 40. And someone with an established career and more likely to have money in the bank is also way more likely to be able to afford help if they need it, whether it's nannies and home help, or medical assistance for a disabled child

Answer

I'm 35 pregnant with my first and I do want more which would put me at 40. I chose to wait until I was married and and financially and mentally stable enough to have children. I wanted to be sure that I child enjoy parenthood without regrets. I also wanted to be sure that I wouldn't need to ask people for help.

I haven't had any issues getting pregnant since this is my 3rd pregnancy in 8 months. I had a blighted ovum and then lost my second at 8 weeks because of how active I was.

Is it selfish....??

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey