what do I do

Question

So my bf and I were talking about weddings and we have had complete opposite ideas for the 5 years we've been dating. I want a small beach wedding with close family and a few friends, no more than 30-40 people. He on the other hand wants it at his parents gaudy wedding venue. I have always been simple and all. This just upsets me so much because I would compromise a little be he is adamant. He wouldn't change because his parents will practically be free, yet my idea is nothing too costly at all. What do I say? He has known my opinion yet thinks I will do a  180. He wants his whole entire family which is easily 100+. I have a family of 30 tops and find it shocking if I even had 20 people show up. What do I do? I love him and want us to both have an amazing day but I don't want to end up unhappy. If it's at his parents place his plans are way over the top. Which I already don't want at all.

Answer

There has to be some sort of compromise. I know everyone says it's the brides day but it's his day too.  How about a smaller beach ceremony then giant reception. Maybe at the reception you can play video of the wedding for anyone who wasn't at the actual ceremony.

Answer

Coming from someone who loved their wedding but has major regrets for not sticking up for myself- do it your way. I would love to go back and have my small beach wedding. At the end of the day, a wedding is much more important to a woman than a man. Like someone else suggested, I also wanted to video it and play the video at a large reception that we would have had after our honeymoon. Best wishes love 😊😁

Answer

I mean, he could say the same about you--that you've known his opinion and you think he'll do a 180. Honestly it seems like a big wedding isn't important to you because you have a small family, and that's not the case for him. He probably loves his extended family and wants them there. Seems like you need to look at things from his perspective as well.

Answer

My husband and I are both kind of simple and private people. However, both of our families are giant. So we had a small ceremony with just immediate family and friend and then a large reception. My family got butt hurt and didn't come, but I honestly don't care. Compromise in a way where both of you will be happy. Having a small ceremony and big reception is becoming more and more popular.

Answer

Are you even engaged? This seems like a non issue until you are at the point where you're booking a venue. And the idea is to only get married once so if he wants his family there you're going to have to cave on that one. You could always do a beach ceremony and the venue for the reception. There's always a compromise. If the venue is cheaper personally I'd go that way, buying a house was more important to me than a party.

what do I do

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