Picked so up from funeral home today...

For those who do not know I lost my son TJ at 15 weeks. They told me his heart stopped beating... When I had him on January 30th I part of me left with him... I'm from Louisiana and currently in oklahoma with my husband. I mc up here and We had to wait to get papers so we can bring our son home... He is and always will be my perfect little Angel. TJ is my second child. I have a 1 year old daughter.

I went and picked TJ up today from the funeral home. When I walked in Mr. Bill gave me a tiny white box that my son will forever be in. I lost it. I took the box held it tight and cried my eyes out. Just thinking about how I will never be able to hold him in my arm. I will never know the person he would have been. That I will never watch him grow up to be a man and I will never see him take his first steps, see him get his first car, graduate, get married, have kids of his own... I'll never get to hear his sweet little voice. Instead I have to watch them put my son in the ground.... That's not where he belongs.... He was suppose to be here with us.

My heart aches.... But my baby has 2 perfect little wings and a beautiful halo. He is sitting in heaven with my grandmother and she is telling him all about me. Teaching him all the things she taught me... Giving him all the life lessons she told me a million times. I know he is safe and nothing can harm him but as a mother I feel like that's my job. I am suppose to take care of him, protect him, save him... And I cant because my body failed me...