Angry and Jelous

I do not understand this... let me first start off with I am a person who believes in god how ever I feel as if I am being punished. I want to know why my ex husband who aborted his last child with his ex wife gets to have a baby with his new gf and my baby was taken away!?! I finally thought I reached a month that I got my period I would not die inside, I could get through the reminder I am no longer pregnant, then this bomb was dropped on me the day after I start my period. Why does someone who choose to end his child get to have another one (that he openly admits he doesnt want), but people like me that want nothing more but to have our babies get them taken away!!! This is so unfair! I hurt so much, I would give anything to have my baby back!!