I started a new job, it paid batter then my last one. Its a small family owned business.
I've been working this new job since November. And I've noticed somethings.
1. my boss, the owner, only has two cashier girls. Me, and my coworker.
2. My boss is sexist. Only women work the front. Men work the kitchen.
3. She ... doesn't care about you're personal time.( I get one day off a week. And work long, dragging hours.)
4. This has affected my relationship.(I can't stand being around anyone after work anymore.)
5. Everyone here .... doesn't see anything wrong with her.
6. She yells at me in front of customers.
7. She yells.
8. She makes horrible remarks about my face. "You should wear make up. You have to represent this restaurant." "Wear some lip stick, and maybe some foundation." "You don't wear make up do you? Well, you should."
9. She's changed my schedule more then once without my knowledge.
10. She has sent the other cashier girl after me when I wouldn't speak to her.
11. She calls me a liar. Broken. And wrong.
I go home, I cry, and then I fall asleep. Only to start all over again. I haven't seen my family since I started working here. I barely talk to anyone I ised to know. I don't have sex with my husband anymore. Sometimes ... I don't even sleep in the same room as him.
I get upset about little things now, or I start crying because he said something was wrong. Or sometimes, when I have a break long enough for me to go homeand he's not here ... I'm automatically crying.
Recently ... that seems like all I'm doing. I can't sleep sometimes, and I can't wake up sometimes. I can't talk to anyone, because I don't reach out for anyone.
My husband is suffering the blunt end of my wrath because I am .... miserable.
I realize this. But I can't, for the life of me, I can't make it better. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. And now ... my entire life is falling apart.
The abuse that I left ... in my past relationship... is keeping me awake at night again. I am having flashbacks and night terrors again. Only this time ... its not my ex.
I am ... miserable.