Things moms are tired of hearing

1. Why are you frustrated.? It's just a baby...oh maybe because this the umptenth time I'm trying to feed the baby and he keeps spitting it out. How is he supposed to grow big and strong...he won't stop moving long enough for me to put on clothes or a diaper
2. Why is he eating paper? ...oh I'm sorry did I ask you to watch the baby for two minutes so I could pee in peace. I'm sooo sorry you had to stop playing Xbox because the baby started eating paper while you were supposed to watch him. 
3. Why is he crying?...uh I don't know. Ask it. 
4. You need to change his diaper...he hasn't even peed in that one yet