31 and unsuuccessful

Just recently broke up with ex of more than 4 years, had to move back into parent's basment. Working three jobs and going to school, but not making nearly enough to survive on my own. Health is bad even though if you saw me you would think I was a beast, and I am, I push through so much physical pain and emotional pain, especially now that I am back where I was ten years ago. After allllll the hard work, college, helping others find their way, watching everyone get married and have babies, I'm having trouble finding the ability to wait for what may come. I'm having so much trouble getting up the energy everyday and convincing myself that something good is coming, that my future is right around the corner, that if I am patient and good and hard-working my dreams will come true. I know I am not old, but I am not young, my body is telling me that. I don't want to give up on myself but I am having trouble pushing myself through anything anymore. The list of bs I am dealing with is ridiculous and it is driving me insane. I would love to see a psych again but my health insurance is "pending appeal" which is one of the many things I have to sit back and wait for. I an so frustrated and lonely and angry feeling like so much must be wrong with me, I just don't know what it is or why. I want to be independent,  find my special someone, and enjoy life. I'm becoming more and more fearful of trying and failing at things. This is torture!!!!! What do I do?!