how to be firm but nice.

What is a firm but nice way to basically tell people.  1 no flashes are to be used if they take any pics and that we don't want anyone posting pictures of our baby till we get the chance to first 2 for them to stay out of his face and not kiss his face/hands or stick their fingers in his mouth. 3 that if they smoke and smell like it when they come in they will not hold him. 4 when we go into labor / when he's born for them to not be posting updates to let us do it if when we feel like it  the most important people that need to know will be there ( in the waiting room until we're ready to see them) or can be texted / called it dosnt need to be announced to the entire world. Until we are ready.