DEPRESSION ANXIETY DISASOTAION

coming off of Celexa ....last night I cried and cried and had panic attack after panic attack my hands and face went numb hitting myself screaming .....all sounds like a temper tantrum right ....I know I'm disgusted with myself ...but that is what I suffer from if I'm not taking my medicine .....but here 9s the thing I think I'm stronger than my problems I think I can control it ...meditation walks in the park positive energy ....but everyone else thinks I'm bonkers and I'll go crazy without it ....so... I want to know what yall think good or bad ... am I crazy to think that manefesting my reality will work with a Chem imbalance ....will meditation only help the surface ...I'm just lost ...I'm someone else on here going through what I go through or am I alone ....