How I feel about my birthing experience

When I think back on my pregnancy and my labor & delivery experience, I can't do nothing but thank God! Me conceiving & carrying a child to full term is a blessing in itself. I didn't have an easy pregnancy. I was so sick & miserable the whole 9 months. I didn't have an easy delivery. There was nothing joyous about it besides bringing my son into this world. I pushed & pushed & he was not coming. He had to be suctioned out. I waited to hear his cry & for him to be placed on me. That's what I looked forward to since the day I found out I was pregnant. I didn't get that. Instead, he was immediately being worked on because he wasn't breathing on his own. I prayed for him to start breathing & start crying. He just couldn't. Minutes later my baby  was being taken away to the NICU & I didn't even know what he looked like. It was hours before I even knew if he was okay, 4 hours before I could see him, & a whole 18 hours before I could even hold him. I didn't get to experience being in my room with my son, sitting around with family, celebrating his birth. I couldn't even rest because I was in the NICU more than I was in my room. Most women are so ready to be discharged, not me. I avoided every nurse possible, I made sure to not go back to my room because I did not want to leave my baby. Hardest thing I've ever done was walking out of the hospital temporarily empty handed. I never thought I would be that mom. I never thought I would be in that position. A week later, I finally brought my son home! It was a tough experience but it could have been much worse! He has been through a lot in just 6 weeks of life but he's healthy as can be & growing so much day by day! I thank God everyday for my little blessing! Being a mom is nowhere near easy, but it's all so worth it! I could not have gotten through it without my family, my fiancé, his mom, & most importantly, GOD! ❤