We were two teenagers
We were two teenagers who thought it'd be easy, life wasn't that hard. We left home at 18 and 19 to our own little home. We both worked so hard we forgot why we loved each other but at that point it just had to work out we had already given up so much for each other. He had been accepted into a school in New York the only one with the chance to get away and pursue his dream. She had looked into the military. The army promising her everything she'd ever wanted to do in life. But he stayed for her and she stayed for him. Then things seemed to be looking good for them. They both got great jobs were they didn't have to worry about money as much anymore and they got to spend more time with each other. And then she lost her job and he tried as hard as he could to provide for both of them.
And then it happened. She was pregnant. They were both so happy but both so scared. They weren't in the greatest of situations. But they would keep it because it was something they'd always wanted. To start a family. Their families were both weary. They knew just how bad their situation was but they were happy for the new baby. They moved to a house that was rent free and things looked better. And then surprise! Baby is a girl! They were both so excited. But in their new house something was always wrong. The house had been abandoned for a while and it had acquired its own smell. It made her sicker than she already was and she couldn't stand it for long. He grew irritated. He could handle being the sole provider but he couldn't handle doing the housework and a job. And without meaning to he blamed her.
And one day as he threw it in her face that she was the reason they didn't have money she realized something awful. She understood then why women terminated their pregnancies. She had always judged those who did because to her "there was always a way." But she looked at her situation and thought about her life and realized it was one big fuck up. And her baby girl was the only good thing she'd ever do in her life. But she didn't deserve her. Her baby deserved a great life one she couldn't provide for her. There were people out there who had their lives together and could give her baby the life she so desperately wanted to give her. But she was selfish and kept her. Only thinking of how god had blessed her with a miracle she didn't deserve.
I'm not looking for anyone to pity me or for any mean comments I just needed to vent. Thank you.
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