I Would Love To Be? Am I worrying Too Much?

I have been trying for a baby for the past four months now, it took my SO a few months into our relationship for him to fully be on the idea despite him already having kids with someone else but that relationship did not end will and as for us, I promise you a meatorite can come down we will still end up together is the afterlife. Since January we started when eve said I was ovulating but I got my period in Frebruary, and my SO had second thoughts, around March we started to try again because he realized how much he loved and wonder what are we waiting for; I've had death in my family every four months for the past year and the half, I lost my best friend (cousin), both grandparents, great grandmother, and most most recently my Aunt & another (grandparents are understandable but my Aunts and cousins are literally just dropping). I'm scared more will be next and god forbid my parents go before they see a grandchild, at this point I don't know anymore and I have no intentions on wondering whether the next four months is their time.