IN LOVE WITH MY PAST AMD FUTURE

LONG STORY---  I have a problem my ex keeps popping into my thoughts on a constant everyday basis I still have love for him but have "moved on" and am now married I broke up with my x and a month later was proposed to by my now hubby of 6 years I jumped the gun and married my rebound he's great and I love him a lot but I still have love for the x I blocked him on Facebook to stop myself from talking to him. And yet my x is my first love at  16 we were engaged I left him over something dumb because he lied about where he was, please don't leave harsh comments but I'm thinking about leaving my husband maybe and contacting my ex or starting with a clean break from any relationships I never got that chance to recover from the first love but is that selfish should I be miserable forever and suppress it all like I have or should I call it all quits  I've been dealing with this for 6 years I don't know what to do everything feels hopeless I don't want to hurt anyone but I keep hurting myself by things staying as they are I'm going crazy what do I do  - and sorry for the lack of punctuation  -