Should I take the lead?

Question

My husband and I have been together for 10.5 years and married for 5.5 years. We have a two year old and I am five months pregnant with our second. We recently hit a bump in our marriage (nothing that can't be worked out, but there is some tension). We also have been arguing more in the last two years than we ever did before. My mother and brother live with us, and my mom enjoys putting her two cents in and my husband is getting a little fed up. He works a lot (I'm a SAHM), and money is still tight so that's always a source of frustration for us. To say that the spark has fizzled is an understatement. We absolutely love each other but life is just getting the best of us. We recently came into a few extra dollars and I would really love it if we could take a weekend and get away, just the two of us. We haven't done anything together since our first daughter was born and now I fear that after our new baby comes, we'll be so busy that we won't have any time for each other.

Here's the thing...I want my husband to think of this on his own. I wish he would take the reins and plan something out for us. He has never really been that kind of husband, but in light of the issues we've been having I just wish he would say to himself "I know this would make her happy." Should I drop hints or just come right out and tell him I want to do this? Or, do I surprise him and book something myself?

Answer

Just tell him that's what you want and that you'll plan it.

He can't read your mind and shouldn't have to, especially since he works all the time and is likely stressed and busy because of it. Good luck.

Answer

I think you should do it. My husband is kind of the same way. He won't plan a date night or anything, I have to do it. But he appreciates the date night when we are out. But if money is tight, I would talk to him about it first.

Answer

My hubby would never think of it, and he definitely wouldn't get the hints. I think guys tend to be a little more "practical" and he's probably thinking about other things you could do with it ( at least mine would be), so maybe talk to him about it? If it were my hubby and money was a source of frustration for us he might be a little upset if I splurged with it all instead of using it for bills or something. If so, maybe you can plan a day of doing stuff together - movies, dinner, maybe a couples massage or whatever you guys like versus a trip? Then you can use part for fun and connecting with each other and part to relive some of the financial stress.

Answer

Just book it

Answer

I think you should talk to him about it and see where your finances are.. I think is something to talk about since you did mention he is the only one that works and money is tight.

Answer

I'm happy (or not) to see that my hubby isn't the only one that won't think of doing things like this. I love him to death, but he's probably the most unromantic guy ever! On the flip side, he works his butt off and is an amazing father so I lucked out there. 😊

Answer

With my SO I have to plan it lol he just isn't the type to surprise me with a date night or weekdn trip as much as I want him to be here just don't get it so I plan it and tell him when and where we are going and he makes sure he saves the money up for it

Answer

My thought was just an overnight trip somewhere close, but I'm realizing now how that could still cost us money that we really don't have. I do like the idea of a day of doing things together where we live, but I guess I just thought if we had a change of scenery we could connect more.

Answer

Surprise him and book it yourself is what I would do personally. That's just me😊

Should I take the lead?

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