love or lust

Okay so there's this guy I was with when I was 17 we ended up breaking up because life for me was awful. We stayed in touch and we've always seemed to miss our being together. I'm with a man now but he (the other guy) recently texts me and told me he loved me.. I love him; but he's never had to take care of anyone but himself and barely that his family had always been there for him. I have children from a past relationship and the man I'm with now is sooooo good to us. He loves me and my children like his own. So why tf can't I get this dude out of my head? There's no way I could ever leave the man I'm with now. He's safe and that's what me and my children need.. I feel terrible. I guess there's no real question just a long rant about how I wish things could be different 😔