FWB or nah?

Question

Okay ladies I need advice, I've know this guy and liked him for 6 years, there has always been this spark between us but neither of us did anything about it....until recently, we both went to a house party and kissed and girls when I say it's the best kiss I've ever had....it really was!! I was so happy but he recently messaged me saying he's not looking for a relationship right now just FWB (friends with benefits) and I don't know what to do, do I go for friends with benefits and hope he ends up wanting a relationship? Or do I say no and risk pushing him away? HELP!!!

Answer

If you've known him that long and he's not looking for a relationship you may be wasting your time and losing a friendship if it doesn't work out. Most guy do not honestly want a relationship they just want to use you for sex when deep down you want more and they don't. You end up feeling used and heartbroken upon rejection. He's being honest with you he doesn't want a relationship and clearly you do. Most guy are just looking for a hook up and aren't ready to settle down. They use you and string you along and tell you what you want to hear to get what they want. Eventually things get stale and you hope for more. And can't get jealous or insecure or possessive when you find out he's messing with other people because you aren't in a committed relationship and he has every right to. You already know what he wants from up. Just sex. He wants his cake and to eat it too. He doesn't want to hear you complain or drama. He doesn't want you to catch feelings. His feelings aren't coming from his heart they are only coming from his pants. I would not go there. You already know how it's going to end. You wanting more and him not. And the. When you get mad he will say I told you from the beginning what this was. And then make you feel guilty that you caught feelings and ruined things. I would never go there again. Wait for a guy that wouldn't make excuses. He's not ready for a relationship, with you. That's the reality. You aren't his plan, you are his back up plan. Someone he contacts when he's bored or horny. I'm sorry but I can't recommend this.

Answer

Never go into a Fwb relationship wanting more. Not only is it dishonest to him, someone btw youre supposed to care about, its setting yourself up for failure. There could be a multitude of reasons why he doesnt want a relationship right now, but the main point is that he is saying that he isnt ready. Thats not the point in someones life where you want to try to begin a meaningful relationship. 
I had a fwb that did that to me and it hurt knowing that they knew my stance on things and betrayed my trust. I hurt him bc i didnt want that kind of relationship from him or with anyone at the time. I didnt like hurting him that way and thats why i didnt want things to be serious. It was stupid of me to believe him over my own good sense, but he also lied to me about his intentions.
But you know, in the end no matter what anyone says here, its most likely that youre just going to do whatever you wanted to do in the first place. If youre okay with that then by all means, no one can really stop you. Maybe things will work out for you and you get your happily ever after, and maybe youre going to get your heart broken and destroy your relationship with him. Go ahead if you want to take that risk.

Answer

Don't go into a fwb wanting a relationship cuz you will get hurt if a gut says he is looking for fwb he is not going to buy the cow if he gets the milk for free and you will be extremely sad.after screwing him for.a.cpl yrs.then he suddenly starts dating a girl thay wld nt give it up until they were in a relationship I'm not telling you not to hook up with him I'm jist telling you dont.let your heart get involved in it because it is a recipe.for a disaster maybe if you really want a relationship with him jist flirt and say no im sorry I don't do casual sex I do like.you tho so when you are ready give.me a.call smile the whole time he will be so floored.he will either ask you out or go on being a player and breaking someone else's heart

Answer

I don't think you should go into it with the expectations of it being more.  He's already stated what he wants and don't wants. So there's a possibility that you'll end up disappointed. You'll most likely fall for him more then be crushed if it doesn't end up with more. Personally because he said he's not looking for anything serious I would leave it at the amazing kiss.

Answer

Friends with benefits are predators. He's a rapist. RUN! He has disconnected sex from feelings he is a PSYCHOPATH and maybe even a gang member-they have sex with all their "friends". He kisses ALL his friends just to see who he can rape. He's a PREDATOR get it?

Answer

He is a sexual predator. Fwb is nothing more than rape. Run, run fast! He's a rapist in disguise.

FWB or nah?

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