M-I-L issues... am I crazy??

Question

So my husband and I fight a LOT about his mom... his dad passed away and he has no siblings so he's mamas little boy.... well we are also active duty in the military and don't live in the same state... and EVERY time we go home (we're from the same place) his mom ALWAYS plans to do something with JUST him and makes sure to know I'm not invited... my husband bitches because I'm "mean" or "jealous" of his mom, but personally I feel REALLY hurt that I live away from home too and she doesn't seem to want to make an effort to get to know me better, or spend "quality time" with me.. it's always how she has to have "time with her baby that she misses so much" .. which I understand to an extent, but also don't feel like I'm treated like family because I'm always excluded from things 😭

Answer

You are her sons wife and should be included in everything that he is included in, in my opinion. You are a part of his family and therefore should be a part of hers.

Answer

So it's a balancing act.  If you are truly hurt about not being included- yes your husband needs to step in and tell his mother you are a package deal.

But- if you are kinda just drawing a line in the sand for the sake of power- gotta just stop it.

I don't know your real feelings but this is a question I ask myself a lot.  I don't like my MiL and my natural reaction is to "test" my husband.  Fortunately I catch those feelings and really only bring up big situations to him.  If you love him it means not putting him in unnecessary fights.  Our rule? I promise not to vent about your crazy hick of a mother or make you choose. But if I come to you with an issue, know it's a big one and you better have my back

Answer

If you have tried to form a connection with her and she has given no effort back, then screw it. Dont make yourself crazy. Try to accept that it won't happen & try to form connections with his other family members.

Answer

I don't think she means it in a bad way, she just wants time alone with her child to do something nice with. It's not against you, but it's just time where they can just focus on their mother/son relationship and what's going on in their lives. I'd take that time for yourself to go to like a spa or something for a little bit to unwind and relax.

M-I-L issues... am I crazy??

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