Boyfriend and Ex issues, Do I end it?

So to start let me just say the Bro-Code Sis-code is overrated.

And I really love my boyfriend. So don't like attack him I guess.

My now boyfriend and I have been having issues as of a few months ago prior to Valentine's day when his ex girlfriend, My ex-best friend sent me messages between him and her. On Thursday, the week before Valentine's day he had sent me a message saying how he was scared of the commitment we had, and that he didn't want his relationship to be without a purpose like it had been with his ex (my ex best friend). So I said that I plan on making this relationship last because guys I TRULY love this guy, I love him to pieces, but I'm unsure if I should continue. So I tell him I love him and I want to build a life with him. He says ok and it seems like all is well. But he had been texting his ex, saying how he still loved her and he made a mistake in breaking up and ruined their senior year and wasted alot of time together by breaking up. She sends me the screenshots (which I have deleted because it upset me that he said this) and I call him telling him like legit WHAT THE FUCK. Going into this relationship I told him I didn't want to be some rebound, and that he needed to get his shit worked out if he wanted us to be together. ("Quick" flashback: he and I liked each other in freshman year, and then he pissed me off or something 🤔 can't quite remember and we stopped talking. Then my then-best-friend let me know she liked him so I set him up with her. They dated for almost 3 years, and broke up before the summer before senior year. He and I get closer as he tells me he doesn't feel happy in that relationship anymore, and that she doesn't want to fix it. He eventually breaks up with her and we continue hanging out and being friends. He tells me he's gained feelings and reject him because sister code. Then we continue to be friends. He tells me AGAIN he has feelings I turn him down again he had been giving me a backrub and then kinda suddenly left and took some stuff he had been leaving at my house. We continue to be friends. He tells me again, then he texts me again that he's got feelings and I kinda feel kinda the same. Then we date for less than 24 hours and he mentioned it to some friends the day after. One of his friends tells my then-best friend and she gets mad. So then I end it because I felt terrible and she did have a point and then I tell him I need space. Like hella space. and I say it's no longer healthy to remain friends and I tell him I think we shouldn't talk anymore. He didnt stop talking to me, and when huracaine Mathew came i mentioned how we were having trouble putting on the shutters and he came to help. He got stuck at my house in the storm. He takes me to his house the next day to have a BBQ (after talking all night we went back to friends), I meet his mom and everyone thinks we are dating even though I say we aren't. I go home and I feel a little weird but I blow it off. (Dude's cute). Then in October he comes over to my house for my dad's birthday and he's helping cook hotdogs on the grill when I suddenly feel kinda weird and flirty and he leaves for work. Then I text him do u want to try this again? And we started dating.) So fast forward about like 2 months into the relationship, he tells me that he wasn't over his ex untill 2 weeks into when we had started dating. I got upset because I had told him that he had to be over her, that I didn't want to be some type of rebound. And I felt like a rebound for a little after that. I ask him LIKE ON 2 SEPARATE FUCKING OCCASIONS IF HES OVER HER. AND if he wasn't I didn't want to be in this relationship anymore, he tells me he is and that he loves me. Then all is well we don't have any problems, we have fun we go bowling we go fishing. And then before Valentine's day I get the text from his ex telling me he wasn't over her after I had been comforting HIM THAT SAME DAY. I get angry when I talk about this but I really do love his ass. So he tells me that that was the last of it and something about the fear of losing our relationship. But ever sense then I've felt less to her, I feel like I'm missing something she has that I don't have, I feel like he's temporary sometimes and that he can just get up and leave. I told him this and he says he wont, and that he wants so start a life together and that after highschool she won't be a problem anymore. But in my head is it cause he won't have to see her face in the hallway or because he won't want to, is it his choice? And then they were together for nearly 3 fucking years and I'm, ME? Supposed to be able to compete with that? Then at the same time it's like fuck you. I try my best to make you happy. And I feel like with all the shit ive given him about this has just made him unhappy. If he was unhappy before with her why is he gonna want to stay here with me unhappy as well. He tells me he's happy, he tells me he loves me. And my mind over thinks everything I keep replaying the moment when he said it was a mistake, how one time he told me he forgot why he broke up with her. He buys me flowers he hugs me he tells me he loves me. I feel like at 2 polar opposites in this relationship. I'm hoping it'll get better I really do love him, he's the first man I ever loved but is it toxic? Am I being dramatic, and I overthinking too much?

Also recently I went to prom with him and his ex was there. He told me to say hi so it wouldn't be awkward. I say hi and she kinda swooped past me and I understand I'm with her ex, I betrayed her I KNOW. Then at the end of the night when I'm about to leave I tap her on the shoulder and say I'm sorry, NOTE THAT TOOK Every BIT OF COURAGE IT TOOK IN ME CAUSE HER FRIENDS HAD BEEN TELLING HER TO FIGHT ME. so then I leave. Then the day back to school (my boyfriend and her are partners in a film class) my boyfriend sees she's depressed, and he also needs her to do her part of the project so he asks her what's wrong, and then this is where the story gets murky. When my boyfriend asked he made it sound like she accused me of saying hi and I'm sorry with an attitude. So I got angry at him for him accusing me of saying it like that when I fucking didnt, and it had been HIS idea in the first place to say hi. So then he says no I'm not accusing you I'm asking. And then I was still mad because he thought me as that kind of person. Then we argue and kinda psuedo break up with him like I tell him I'm done because of all the issues with his ex. I ignore a few of his calls saying I don't want to talk to him and that I need to talk to his ex to sort shit out. At this point I don't know the full story idk what happened how she said it or anything. So given the info my boyfriend gave me it sounded like she was trying to manipulate our relationship cause guys, I HONEST TO GOD DIDNT SAY SORRY OR HI SARCASTICALLY. but this I mentioned to my boyfriend and he blew and it kinda pissed me off because sometimes it seems like he defends her and cares more than he should. I confronted him about caring too much and he said it's who he is he can't just stop caring about her entirely, and he only cares for her as you would a friend. Idk how I feel about this but yeah.

Then we get over that I guess kinda and the. We still are a little rocky and we are getting better and at this point I'm just believing him when he says hes over her and that he loves me and all of that.

I feel like in one way if he can't see who I am, and that I am a great woman and he doesn't appreciate me then that's on him and I deserve better, however then with all that happened I can't help but feel insecure.

Am I in a toxic relationship? What do I do? Can I even Fucking fix it? If I do try to fix it is it by telling him? I feel like of I tell him all this again I'll push him away, but am I right to push him away then?