anyone else with Mother's Day anxiety? 😔

I'm so anxious. This is our 3rd cycle of trying since my mmc in January. Based on my dates and timing the earliest I can test is Mother's Day. I'm so anxious and want to test soon, but not too soon. I don't want to see another bfn if I don't have to, but finding out on Mother's Day is giving me so much anxiety. I lost my first baby at 11 weeks. I want so badly to have a baby and be a mother to some awesome tiny person😢