Still struggling but doing it💪🏻

I've struggled with body image issues my whole life. I had an unhealthy affair with laxatives in college and still occasionally fall victim. For about a year I've been doing yoga almost every day and still counting calories (which I'm pretty sure I'm addicted to). Yoga has been wicked helpful because it makes me focus more on what my body can do rather than what it looks like. Lately I've been having bad anxiety about days that I skip yoga.. I had a wedding this weekend and obviously all weekend didn't do yoga and didn't track my food.. I don't want yoga to turn into another thing I feel like I must do so I don't hate myself so tonight I am skipping yoga to prove to myself that I won't get overweight by skipping a night. I'm skipping so I can focus more on loving myself and not comparing myself to the girls I see on instagram and other social media sites. And I am skipping so I can stop being anxious about skipping! It's gonna be a long night but I need this!