Hi glow mums, 

18 + 2wks!!

My belly is growing and I am starting to feel back to normal. Well almost. Most days over the last couple of weeks I have woken up and sort of forgotten that I am even pregnant, until of course I go through the daily ritual of snoozing my alarm until the last second I can spend in bed, dragging myself to the shower, having my first morning spew, studying my every changing body in the mirror and leaving the house to go to work on what I know will be a long and exhausting day where I feel like I'm running on 20% battery. My brain has been hijacked of thoughts about baby names, where the baby will go to school, am I going to have enough money, focussing on recipies, staffing, and general running of a place (I'm a head chef of a restaurant) has felt for the most part exhausting and overwhelming. 

I'm sure as I have read, this is normal. You read this is all the magazines and blogs and I am having what could be referred to as a very stereotypical pregnancy. 

But what I'm finding that isn't talked about too much is how often during the day I feel incredibly lonely, completely isolated from the people I love and overwhelmed about the prospect of Being the responsible for another life. I feel misery and depressed by not having the energy to leave the house on my days off, about not being able to be 100% present for friends as I once was, and without being able to do the things I once took for granted, I often feel like I have to now discover a new more sober, more conscious version of myself. 

I know that I want this baby more then anything, I know I'm already head over heals in love with it, and despite the unfortunate way it came into the world, it is so wanted and I cannot wait to meet it. But I feel as though it's ok to be sad sometimes as well. And it's not all wonderful all the time. 

I want other people on this app to know that and that they don't feel alone or like a failure. Because the most beautiful wonderful natural thing in the world, is also the hardest, scariest and sometimes the worst you can ever feel, and that's ok.

Look forward to hearing how other mums are coping and if anyone can relate. 

Tiffany