Straight out of a telenovela

8, almost 9, years ago I was a 19 year old freshman in college. Had moved 2 hours away from home and was having the time of my life. I met someone, and when I say I met someone, I had never felt that way about anyone I had ever dated. Some people don't believe in soulmates but guys, in my heart I felt it. He was my best friend. When I was with him it was right. I knew from the moment I met him I would never be the same. All was going great, until one day he left me a note telling me he couldn't get over his ex and it wasn't fair to me for him to be with me when he still had those feelings for her. The next morning, I got a positive pregnancy test. At first, I thought we would be able to coparent, and we could find a healthy balance. I had to move back home which meant he was over 3 hours away. I ended up running into an old ex when I was 10 weeks pregnant. We had remained semi friends after our breakup and when we ran into each other I wasn't in a good place. He said all the right things that a 19 year old pregnant girl would want to hear. In my mind, I knew it didn't feel 100% right, and I know that no relationship is 100% right but it just didn't feel there. However, as a 19 year old pregnant girl, I was afraid I would never find someone who would want to be with me. So we dated. And he wanted to be there for this baby. The baby's father and I grew apart. Partly because of distance and new relationships. I gave him an out, and he took it. I've never blamed him for that. I feel that my daughter has had the best life she can. I ended up marrying that guy. He was there when she was born and he's been her dad since then. We have been married almost 7 years and have another child together. But guys, I'm not happy. I haven't been happy in so long. He financially is a helper, and he's a great dad but we are so incompatible. Over the years I constantly thought about him, I knew he had married his high school girlfriend. I knew they had a son together but part of me had always wondered what it would have been like.  I'm telling you, he's that person you can't get over. He messaged me a few months ago, my husband and I are talking divorce and separation. He told me that he and his wife had separated a year ago and we just started talking again. Nothing had changed. It was still great. I ended up going out with a friend one night a few months ago and had him come get me. We ended up having sex and it was like I always remembered. We talked all night. And we still talk. He regrets not being there for me. He said he lives in guilt every day for it. And he wishes so badly he would have done things different. I asked him why he didn't try to come back into her life and be a part of it. He said because I thought that would have been selfish of me. He said when he was 19 and I gave him an out he didn't know what to do but he didn't want to make our lives harder and he knew that my husband would take care of her in ways he might not have been able to. And I do believe he is genuine. I really do. And guess what, I just got another positive pregnancy test.  It his, again, and I'm scared. And nervous. And excited. But I also don't have a clue what to do. He s excited. He's been great. But I was told that I was the most selfish person in the world if I pursued a relationship with him. Even though when I'm with him I'm the happiest me. Idk what to do.