Struggling with my mood
I'm so unbelievably happy to be expected my baby, don't get me wrong! But recently I've been feeling so stressed and down that I can't seem to get past it. I know it's probably my hormones but I can't help but feel like all of the closest people around me including my husband are adding to how I feel. Right now I feel as though they don't understand and are adding to the pressure of being having to be happy and cheerful.
I've always struggled with depression, anxiety and weight problems from as far as I can remember and to add to this I feel under pressure to have a boy as I have 2 girls already. I'm so scared of putting on weight and being even more unhappy with myself. I'm 20 weeks and I thought I was looking well (apart from ache) I have a small bump much smaller than I had with my 2 previous pregnancies. I'm still able to get in to some of my usual clothes and others just a size bigger is comfy for me. But yesterday my mum told me I didn't have much of a bump but I had put weight on everywhere else. I can't get it out of my head! I feel so upset by that comment.
I feel as though I can't talk to my hubs and that he doesn't understand how I'm feeling he thinks I'm just being silly and I'm starting to resent him aswell as my mother. It's so bad I'm starting to feel as though I don't love them as much as I should and it's making me question myself.
I've never had any of these feelings before or even when pregnant with my girls. I just need to get this of my chest 😢 there are lots of other stuff going on too that's too much to go in to - can anyone relate?