anal 😩😩

I've never done anal before but I've always wanted to, I've also seen that my boyfriend sometimes watches anal porn, so tonight I decided to give it a try. I texted to to masturbate while I showered and sent him nudes and a video of my pleasing myself in the shower, I took a long shower and washed everything I also I douched. When I get to the room I put lotion on and got ready, for about 15 minutes we are kissing and touching, rubbing and grabbing each other and he went down on me and then I went down on him, we had great sex for a bit, then when I was extremely turned on I went down on him once again and got in positioned, he would start to put it in and it was feeling real good and what not mind you this is both of us first time, it "slipped out" and he wasn't hard anymore, and we kept on by having sex again and then trying again and same thing would happen, and honestly I feel like it's something wrong with me. I felt emberrassed. I honestly also lost a lot of confidence tonight. Was this my fault ? Is he not attractive to me ? 😞😞😞😞😞😞