In need of a friend

So I feel like here recently I've been so depressed and upset. But I don't have anyone to talk to. I have no friends bc all the friends that I did have, have all crapped on me. They are either back stabbers or just using you. My husband and I have been TTC for over 6 months now and I know that's not a long time I just get so disappointed time after time with no prevail. My sister has a beautiful 2 yr old and has recently just had a MC. She's pregnant again now but I'm not suppose to know. She's not telling anyone so I can't talk to her bc she doesn't know I know. Im so sad that we don't have a baby yet. IDK what to do I honestly want to give up but then I tell myself to just hold on to hope. But I feel like that's hurting me more. I've always been the backbone of the family since my dad left when I was 15. I've been the one everyone can cry to or take their anger out on bc I know I'm strong enough to handle it and I know I will come out on the other side okay. My family doesn't know I'm sad or hurting. Not even my husband. I don't tell them bc it shouldnt be their worry. I'll pick myself back up in the end. I just needed to have a good cry.