Can we still be friends?

Question

So my ex boyfriend and I just broke up and I'm honestly really bummed but we still talk and are still really good friends. We still have feelings for each other but we decided that we wanted to get our lives together before anything else. Is it good that we're still beat friends like the day we met?

Answer

My boyfriend and I tried the friends thing when we broke up. There were still a lot of feelings- we broke up because I had to move for school and he wasn't ready to commit to 4yrs LDR. It was awful. It started out alright but the feelings got to me. It was impossible to move on or let go. I started to hate him actually- I still loved him but I hated him for hurting me so much (rationally I completely understood why he ended things and it wasn't like I hadn't known that was going to happen either).

We ended up having two pretty nasty fights over the phone. I said some horrible things out of pure hurt and pain (were talking I would cry so hard some days that I couldn't physically get off the floor or move I was physically hurting so much). I ended up cutting him out of my life entirely until he found a way to contact me through my best friend (convincing her to give me his email must've been some feat because she hated him then too). We got back together and have been together for almost 2 years now. Our only fights to this day happened during our break up.

If I had to do it all over again I would've waited to be friends. I'd have let him go and gotten over him first so that the feelings I had (well have) for him had gone away mostly. Then I'd have tried the friends thing. It's very possible to stay friends with an ex (I've never done it but my boyfriend is still friends with his ex- and no this causes no problems in our relationship). I just think trying to be friends immediately after a break up is too much. Give it time then try it.

Can we still be friends?

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