AM I CRAZY?

I have been cheated on with my sons father a little after our son was born. I still can't wrap my mind on it and yes I have accepted his infidelity for the sake of our child. So he cheated on me with two other women at his place of employment. In the midst of it things had gotten pretty bad between us because there is no trust. I want to believe he has changed I mean he went and got baptized and we talk more than ever now so I mean there has been some changes made. I just .... I want to believe him like I really do but my heart is so broken and can't imagine going through that again. Am I crazy for holding on to the past? I feel like if I said I forgive him than I shouldn't constantly bring up the past. But I am hurt . And I am confused . Specially since we are considering another child.