Hate the way I am

I've never had confidence, never. My fiancé said that the only thing he'd change about me if he had to was my confidence. Today at work I had a PDR (Personal Development Review) and the one thing my managers said that they would change is my confidence. I mean I know I don't have any and that's just the way I have always been but I can't exactly change something like this very easily. Makes me feel a bit down that this is such an obvious thing people would change in a heartbeat about me.

I go bright red when more than a few people talk to me like in meetings. I don't want a big or medium wedding because I don't want the attention. It's clearly ruining my life! 😢😢😢