Today I found out that my closest cousin is expecting . I'm incredibly happy for her ❤️ . She's the 1st to give each side of the family grandchildren 😌 . I can't help but feel bad on my end because I wanted to be in that position to be 1st & have the child 😊 . But me & my finance are just going to continue to work on the rest of our goals ✨🙌🙌 & later create a child .. 😕😌 . We both have the case of bad baby fever 😩 so it's hard  & always makes me feel sad / mad .. But w/e 😒😌 .