should I be worried?

I've recently started talking to this guy, and we were talking about out kinks. He's into pain but I'm into dominance (I'm the sub). But I started birth control about two months ago and didn't have a period for over a month (it started yesterday. And we were finally going to get some alone time..) but it hurts like crazy just to put a tampon in. I'm honestly kinda scared for the sex cause I've felt it and it's pretty big and he says he's not very gentle. I'm a small girl.. he's afraid to hurt me, and I'm afraid that if it hurts with a tampon, he might hurt me worse. But I haven't had sex in such a long time and I'm going crazy. HES DRIVING ME CRAZY