TTC after 2 Ectopics

(I apologize in advance for all the detail and if my story of my experience is a little scattered- thank you for taking the time to read my story. I also ask that anyone with negative comments please keep them to yourself, writing and posting this is a big deal to my healing and I have nowhere else to post and share this, thank you for your respect.)

I am about to be 29 next month, I had my first MC at 20 at 11 weeks w a D&C since my body didn't recognize the failed pregnancy. I was devastated, it took me 6 months to just stop crying about it. At 22 I had my DS (now a 6yr old, smart handsome and loving 1st grader) but I almost had him at 28 weeks, had to go on bed rest and made it to 38 wks🙌🏼🙏!! That was with my ex who I haven't seen in 6 years- he was abusive verbally and physically, it was so bad I had to get a restraining order and full custody when my DS was just 10 months. Fast forward 2 years and I met my DH, the most amazing, loving, understanding, caring, sweetest man I just still can't believe exists! And the most amazing stepdad ever, DS only knows him as "dad" and I wouldn't have it any other way. We are both cancers (July bdays), we are best friends, lovers and he has been there for me through the lowest lows and our best times and obviously health issues and ttc. 

 onto the ectopics...we started ttc last July, I was pregnant by October after going off the pill. On October 25th I went to my first prenatal visit at 6wks. I knew something just didn't feel or seem quite right, I had been spotting for several days and that morning I was doubled over in pain that felt like full on contractions and spent the day on the couch with a heating pad rocking back and fourth trying to convince myself everything was okay. Well my appt was at 3:30 with just a nurse, I told her about the spotting and pain and she looked concerned and scheduled me an U/S right away at 4:30pm. I couldn't see anything on the US, no baby, no heartbeat but pregnancy test was definitely positive but hcg level was also not quite right. No more than 10 min after the dr looking for the US results he came into the exam room.   Now this was a new dr for me and the first time ever meeting him, he flat out asked me right away "do you have anyone here with you? And when is the last time you had anything to eat or drink." (My DH was at work an hour away) before I could hardly answer the question he told me that I have an ectopic pregnancy and also a lot of interal bleeding/ blot clot in my abdomen right above my uterus and he had to go in and "take a look" and pregnancy was not viable.....OMG WHAT??? I had never had such a horrible sinking terrified feeling ever all at the same time started just bawling my eyes out and I was alone at the dr office at that time. The dr told me to call DH, so I did and also my mom. Meanwhile a nurse got me into a wheelchair and they immediately took me over to the hospital wing to prep me for emergency surgery. Then later that night I woke up from surgery with DH right by my side- the dr told him HE had to tell me about the surgery- DH tried not to break down telling me that they not only had to take my baby but they couldn't save my left tube too. I looked down at the two stitched up incisions and just  lost it!! They then had me sent home  at 11am the next day- I'm mentioning the times because this all happened SO fast I don't think I could fully comprehend what all just happened and how my life just changed so much in just a few hours. I wasn't even in the hospital for 24 hours!