Unsupportive Husband 😢
Sorry ladies, this is gonna be long...
So I don't know if it's the hormones or I actually should be upset. I'm 37+3 and I just feel so emotionally unsupported by my husband. We were married 2 years and decided to go off birth control, before we got married we had thought about trying after 1 year but he said he wasn't ready so we waited until 2.
I got pregnant after 5 months. The first thing he said when I showed him the test was "so how accurate are those things?" Since then, he has never once said he was happy or excited or looking forward to the baby. He really never brings it up at all. When I do, he says something brief and then tried to change the subject.
I'm having a hard time thinking of a baby name I like and he has literally no input to give me. I ask him if he likes this name or that name or ask if he has any suggestions and he says "I don't know" and changes the topic. He just repainted our living room and honestly he had waaay more opinions about the paint colour than he does about our child's name.
We haven't had sex since about month 5. It's kinda fine by me, I've had like zero sex drive myself but if he had wanted to I could get into the mood and he knows this. He hasn't suggested anything or made a move at all. There's been a couple hand jobs since then and that's about it. He says it's weird and all he can think about is how a baby is in there. He never even wants to touch my stomach when the baby is kicking because he says it's weird.
I've been really low maintenance during my pregnancy, no morning sickness, no food aversion, nothing like that. And I feel like he hasn't had to change any thing about his routine or life yet so far. And he wasn't really done anything to "take care of me" or show me any extra affection. I'm not a girly girl who wants to be spoiled by any means but I didn't get any thing for Valentine's day (not even a card or a "Happy Valentines"), anything for our 3 year wedding anniversary (not even a card or a "Happy Anniversary"), and if I ask him for a kiss he groans and acts like its a big hassle before he kisses me. I was upset on our anniversary and started crying saying that I know it was dumb but I just wanted a little acknowledgement, he apologized and said he'd make it up to me but that was in May and nothing has been made up.
We went to a prenatal class when I was about 26 weeks and he groaned and rolled his eyes and played on his phone the entire time. Literally every other husband was holding their wife's hand and watching the videos and answering questions and he looked like he wanted to jump out the window.
He jokes about passing out during the delivery (he faints at the sight of blood) so he can miss the whole thing. Or he jokes when hes with his friends that hes gonna leave the country and not tell me where hes going as soon as I go into labour. I told him before that I am scared because I'm usually a very independent person and I have myself together and he doesn't usually need to support me or reassure me all the time but this is one time when I actually need him to be there for me and I want him to take it seriously. He said he is taking it seriously.
He was never had a high emotional IQ but he used to be more affectionate and understanding than this. Maybe he's freaked out about having a baby but I'm freaked out too!!! He's acting like I trapped him into this and it's going to ruin his life. That's how I see how he's acting anyway. I just don't know what to say to him. They say that men don't get parental instinct until they see/hold the baby. But I just see my friends' husband who were/are excited about their babies and I can't help but wish mine was acting differently.
Sorry for the length but I just needed to get this out. Thanks for listening.