Was the mother in the right to do this?

Question

I was chatting with an old work colleague who's having a very hard time. She has been evicted from her home due to the landlord stealing her money and not paying the mortgage. She has 3 children under the age of 13 and a loving husband. This isn't to do with the question it is just a bit of backstory.

She informed me of her eldest daughter, 12, being bullied physically and verbally at school. She contacted the school right away about 2 weeks ago and is yet to hear back. In the U.K. we have pastoral care (as I'm sure in many countries) which are only employed to deal with the students wellbeing. She has contacted them multiple times with no response. She was at her wits end with her daughter afraid to go to school and the stress of being evicted.

So she took matters into her own hands and rang the school and told them that her daughters mental health has been affected. She continued to tell me that this was technically a lie but the school responded with a meeting the next day. This poses many questions, such as, should it have to be that it only gets heard when it's a mental health issue? Should nothing be done until it affects mental health? Why hasn't it been taken seriously before?

Therefore I pose to you, do you think she was right in saying that it affected her daughters mental health?

My stance, I empathise with her and the rough times she is going through. I think it's ridiculous that the school ignored the issue and failed in the wellbeing of her daughter. I do not think it's right to lie about mental health issues however it is meaning that this issue is being looked into and hopefully resolved. I am really on the fence about this.

I do not wish to offend anyone with mental health issues or appear to be belittling them.

Accepted Answer

If the child was afraid to go to school it absolutely affected her mental health. It is absurd that nothing was done before that! The mother had every right and if that were my kid they would have been lucky not to see me up there.

Answer

Having trouble with mental health doesn't mean you have a mental illness. Being terrified of going to school is having mental health problems and those can progress into a mental illness. So I do agree with what the mother said. Her child was suffering mentally while at school- her mental health wasn't in a good state. Plus, if it got her daughter help then sometimes it's needed to exaggerate issues. I've never lived in the UK, but I did attend schools that would do nothing about bullying unless parents really pushed the issue. At one point in my high school career my mum was worried I was clinically depressed and as there were no other resources available she asked my counsellor to talk to me- she never did and instead just made me join some stupid club to try to get me involved in the school (the idea was fine, but she really should've talked to me- at least to find out the club was the last place I wanted to be). Some schools are great with these things, others are terrible. So I understand the exaggeration- her daughter needed help because her mental health was at risk and was suffering.

Answer

If her daughter was afraid of going to school, mental health is already at risk so I approve what the mother said to the school, something had to be done in the school for that kid to not get worse. She shouldn't have to wait for her to develop worse symptoms.

Answer

I think if the child was being bullied in the manner that you posted, them I'm pretty sure she has been affected mentally. People commit suicide all the time from bullying, because of how it's affecting them mentally.

Answer

They didn't care until "liability" popped up in their heads.

Answer

Well the school was 100% in the wrong,  but technically being verbally and physically bullied will  affect her daughters mental health. (Not sure what specifics she said) but i can only imagine her daughter went to her because she was stressed and upset about the situation at school.  So mom was in the right,  school was in the wrong.  Only other thing i could imagine mom doing is actually showing up to the  school and speaking in person.

Answer

From my experience in UK, if you are dealing with any public sector services whether schools, NHS, universities local councils etc. You have to lie to get anything done.

Answer

I'm sorry I can't really focus on reading the topic because I'm so freaking excited that YOU'RE BACK! I'M SO HAPPY AND SO MAD AT YOU! YOU LEFT WHILE I WAS SLEEPING YOU ASS!

Answer

Life stresses like bullying/harassment and being evicted from your house causes a tin of mental stress and so it is definitely affecting her mental well being! Your friend didn't even lie to them! It's these stresses on our mental health that can progress into mental illness like depression. It's best to work on the situation now before the daughter gets worse and does develop depression or some other condition. We all have the capacity to develop a mental illness, each person experiences life's stresses differently and the same stress that I would be okay with, may cause someone else's mental state to deteriorate etc

Answer

I don't see an issue with what the mother did. But this speaks wonders for the school. Why does it have to be a mental health issue for them to put a stop to it?

Was the mother in the right to do this?

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