Ugh!!!!!

Hello all! I'm 38 and have two teenage girls with my ex husband. I have even remarried for 4 years now and hubby and I want a baby together. He also has a teenage son from a prior relationship. We have been having unprotected sex since we've been engaged. Ya know, whatever happens happens. So years have passed and nothing. We really don't have sex often because he works long hours gets up early and by the time we see each other, he's exhausted. There was a month where I tracked CM, my temperature, etc. He felt pressured to preform so that was swept under the rug.

Now, my periods are out of whack. They try syncing with coworkers, my daughters. They're heavy one period, light the next. One month I have a period, The next month I don't. My nurse practitioner says I need to lose weight and also ordered a sonogram for me. Says I might have endometriosis. I might. Recommend I see my gynecologist that specializes in fertility. Next available appointment is in September. I've always told myself I don't want to take meds to get pregnant. If it doesn't happen naturally , its not meant to be.

Here I am getting older and maybe having sex with my husband once a week if I'm lucky. I want a baby but feel like it will never happen. I don't even know why I'm posting. I know everyone has their own issues, I guess I need to vent. I'm just having a bad day.