Hello my name is bipolar

So I told myself I wouldn't do this but I am miserable. Hi, I'm 21, and I struggle everyday with Major Depressive bipolar disorder, ptsd, and general anxiety. I am engaged to be married this October, and my fiancée is joining the army shortly after.

However, I am suffering. My mental illness grasps me so tightly that I physically become ill when I try to go to work. It's fucked me over to the point I'm probably about to get fired. I should be sleeping right now but my sleeping pills aren't working tonight. I am miserable. I finally know what I want to do with my life but I can't afford school and I can't get financial aid until after my first semester back. I'm stuck in a shit small town surrounded by my years of failures. I'm trying to get out of this rut because I know it's hurting everyone. But i don't know how. Any advice on how to manage until I can start fresh in a new place?