he walked in at 5 in the morning..

Pretty long be aware..

I've been explaining to my boyfriend how I've felt. Expressing that our relationship is on the rocks. I'm getting fed up already and he feels like I'm giving up too easily like I'm supposed to stick around while I don't feel loved because that's what you hear about in other people's relationships. Problem is I've been that girl before and I have a low tolerance now. I've caught this man doing subtle things but they add up. He's been online look up Girls seeking men, on rent a friend website, talking to girls from his hometown and communicating with his ex and going out with her and her child as if they are a family and talking to her about our relationship. Those are other stories tho.. on top of the fact that he never listens to me and ignores my emotions.. just so much shit that I don't want to deal with! Yet he's so adamant that he's trying and that this is his first relationship. Excuses to me.. I recently told him that he hasn't been spending time with me.. he goes to work at 5am on weekdays and comes home around 8pm so he's worn out and too tired to even watch a movie with me.. two days ago we had our gender Reveal party (it's a girl).. and I thought after the party was over we'd bask in these thoughts and finally talk about the baby because I can never get him to talk about her with me! Instead he kissed my stomach and told me that he was too tired.. that kinda hurt my feelings. He took the next day off surprisingly! We started watching a movie and he went to sleep.. I also dosed off thinking it was cool and that we could have the rest of the day to spend time and talk. No he woke up and immediately went to get dressed and left out. I begged him to stay in with me.. but then got over it cause it was a get together for his family he wanted to attend.. I figured he wouldn't be gone for long. I sent him a short message expressing myself again. He told me he would be home shortly at 9pm.. I thought he understood. I didn't text back because I believed him. 3:30 am rolls around and I sent another text telling him I was sleeping on the couch and to please just leave me be because I was furious about this.. 5am comes and he comes in the door.. he starts to wash dishes and put dishes up as If I'm not trying to sleep. At this point I figured he was doing this on purpose.. I did start yelling and snatched the dishes from him asking why the hell do you think that putting the dishes up at 5am is normal! He walked off and went to bed. This morning he comes to the living room and asks me if I'd like to get breakfast. Acting as if nothing is wrong. In my head I'm thinking he's just adding problems.. not only did we have a problem before he left we also have a problem because I find it disrespectful to come home at 5am! So I grabbed my things and left. All I want to do is sleep! I stayed up all night waiting for him. And if I would have stayed this morning he would have kept bothering me. Idk what to do. I just want to leave him. I'm tired of crying and feeling alone and neglected. I just would rather be single. He won't let me break up with him and I haven't been working as much because I have pains at work.. so I don't have money to get a hotel room and sleeping on my moms couch is a no no. The only place I can go is my ex boyfriends house and I don't want to do that but I Just feel so over this relationship I'm seriously considering it! I just feel like I need to be happy and with him is not it! I feel like my child can feel my pain and I DONT WANT THIS FOR HER!! No one to talk to and I'm so lost.