- have you or a loved one ever been affected?

- why do you think mental illness is still taboo?

- are you currently in a space where you're comfortable with yourself?

At age 4 I was diagnosed with OCD & mild anxiety. It wasn't surprising since my mother had also struggled with mental illness as a child.

Things really kicked off at age 13. My great uncle was suffering from kidney cancer & dementia. We weren't comfortable putting him in a nursing home, so he came to live with us. Most of the time things were good, until he got really, really ill around my 14th birthday, and was sedated for the 2 weeks before his death. Sitting around waiting for someone to die does shit to you. At first I thought it was just grief, but I knew something was wrong because I hadn't experienced grief like that before. 6 months later my Nana died. That's when I became depressed. I'd been bullied before, but it never really affected me long term, until one girl went around telling everyone I faked Nan's death for attention. Worst of all, people believed it and I lost most of my friends. I had a lot of suicidal thoughts. I was scared to die, and scared of pain. I also didn't really want anyone to notice so I began to starve myself. James and I became close during that period and I confided in him.

At 15, we started dating, and he became the person I relied on for help. That year I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder (GAD). More bullying, depression worsened. Still had suicidal thoughts but didn't act on it. I realised I couldn't let my family lose another.

At 16, I was diagnosed with stress induced anxiety and social anxiety. I started to become scared of people and found it hard socialising at school. I became too dependent on James, and spent all my time at school with him. Depression worsened. I knew something was very wrong with me, and I started seeing a psychologist I actually stuck with (I had 6 before him). School was the biggest source of stress. I got over my struggles with eating.

At 17, I went a different path with school and picked up vocational training instead of courses that'd get me into university. One source of stress eased off a bit and I began the road to recovery. Still had some suicidal thoughts, but it wasn't often. School provided lots of opportunities that year, so I was too busy to focus on my depression. It eased a bit, but was still there. 

I'm now 18. I still struggle with OCD, GAD, stress induced anxiety & social anxiety. Depression is my biggest source of grief at the moment due to my work struggles and often being alone. Hopefully by 19 I'll be studying and in a much better place than I am currently.