I had my last ultrasound today and was really hoping to get that warm, fuzzy, in love with the life inside of me feeling that everyone except me seems to be experiencing. Nope. Nada. I think my ultrasound tech is more in love with this kid than I am. She "oohed" and "ahhed" over the face and other features while I sat there feeling like a detached, hateful jerk. My sister in law wants to plan a baby shower, but I managed to talk her out of it. The thought of being in a room full of people who are excited about a baby that I don't feel remotely connected to feels disingenuous. Besides, this is my 4th child. Who cares anymore? Right? I'm disappointed in myself for not enjoying my final pregnancy. I'm terrified that even once she's born, I won't have that "warm,

fuzzy, so-in-love" moment. Not sure what to do with this, but there it is. I vented. Apparently that's healthy. Also this ultrasound pic is terrifying