is it time to give up on trying?

why is it so hard to actually stay pregnant once you find out those tests finally scream yes you ARE pregnant. ive been trying to concieve for almost 8 months and I think ive finally come to terms i no longer want to actually try to get pregnant. if it happens it happens i dont feel like my fiance is completely honest with me about wanting to start having kids. we've lost two already this year and its taken a pretty big toll on us each. I think its time to find other things to pre occupy my mind with. who else feels like this would be the best thing to do? I've fully quit smoking, and i do not drink. I think its time to take others wisdom as not to think about it. what did you do to keep your mind off of it?