I have social anxiety because I was bullied.

Hey everyone,

I have intense social anxiety because of how I was treated in the past. I can easily talk to someone one on one. But whenever I'm in a group, I act incredibly awkward. I can't hold a conversation. I'm the one who listens while everyone speaks. I stand there just to stand there so that I feel included. Time and time again, my coworkers have proven to me that they are not mean girls. They are very helpful and intelligent and nice. I will always have a convo with each and every one of them, but when we're all standing together, I just want to run away. At the same time, I don't because I just feel left out. I had a group of girl friends back in high school who ended up betraying each other over and over. So much drama. So many lies. So much criticism from everyone. I'm scared of being in a group of girls now, and it sucks. I think that me being insecure about myself doesn't help the fact. Is anyone else like this, and how am I supposed to open up?