I just want to be able to feel numb again :/

I used to feel no emotions for so long after a bad breakup. Never felt any feeling towards guys or anything..then 2 years or so later I finally met I guy I felt something for. It was really great, he was great. I allowed myself to fall in love again finally. I finally felt emotions again and it was wonderful. Then recently I broke up with him because I found out he was doing drugs. I feel so hurt now and I feel so stupid for letting myself fall for someone because he ended up being just like everyone else. I'm so disappointed in myself. Now I can't get him off of my mind and it hurts so much :/ I wish I could just feel numb like I did for so long..