Please take the time to read this .. please

hey everyone please I'm new to this and I really need to vent .. 😔 so recently I had gotten in a horrible break up around may and so when mid June came around I met this guy name Ricardo .. he was funny and very shy and just a regular dude I never expected. Until we kept talking on the phone everyday constant and like i started catching feelings and so did he . so while that was going on my ex texted me on my birthday june 15 & I said thank you and all but then he kept the conversation going so at that point , I thought my ex and I were just gonna be friends. Later that night on my birthday I spent the night at Ricardos place and we just cuddled the whole night and it was great. until a few days passed Ricardo and I just started kinda getting distant because he suddenly just got busy so I just said " angela your single stop worrying about things " so then he was texting me about family problems and etc . I helped him the best I could I even went to go see him to see if he was okay . until one day I text him if he's okay and it was on Fourth of July and man I was happy because I was gonna spend time with a guy friend and so when I come back home I call him & he's in the hospital because he slit his wrist .. I was devastated and soon they sent him to the mental hospital .. and from there I knew it was not gonna be the same so my ex and I just started talking nothing serious so then we hung out and hey it was great . So then I had to be strong and move on .. from Ricardo . Until 1 week later he comes back and I'm like super happy and like we're texting a few days later he comes back , but he started being just plain rude and aggressive.. I begged and cried but he would just kinda shrug me off and just do his own things so then my ex and I were talking and hey it was great . Until one day I did not get a goodmorning message from ricardo so I sent him one . And his mother had texted me on his phone saying he did it again , NOTE : before that morning that same night we hung out and he promised he would never do it again .. 😪 from there I screamed and man I looked bad I was pulling my hair out and hitting myself . Just everything depression would do to kill me , my ex came by to my house cause he knew what was happening . so he calmed me down the whole day and we just watched movies and it was great . The next 2 days he came back this time I was furious and just man I didn't know .. so we hung out and just everything was great . But when we were hanging out we kissed and man I don't know cause I was talking to my ex but on the other hand my ex would always fight and just argue and so I kept thinking " well I don't have time for this go live life " so then yesterday ric & I hung out and he was a virgin and we had sex .. but I was talking to isreal , but we were constantly fighting and so I said " forget it " and just went for it .. I felt soooo guilty man .. so guilty later that night I tried to commit suicide because the guilt got to me and I don't wanna tell my ex .. I'm having mixed emotions .. and I'm scared .. mainly my ex was there yesterday but like I can't do it anymore please help .. also note please don't judge ! Please