deciding

Hello! I'm 16, i turn 17 (the legal age of consent here) in a few days. I..really really want to do it with my boyfriend (of one year) but my divorced parents barely let me be alone with him. my mom is paranoid and my dad is just mean and scares me. To me sex is a spiritual connection as well as a intimate act and i want to have that with my bf...but idk how it'd work. We have an LDR and its difficult enough to even see eachother. Any tips on ways to make this work? or even if its a good idea...I'm terrified it'll go wrong, or they'll find out and shame me for it..

Update: we have a strong relationship. its just my upbringing and things i feel are getting in the way. I really want this spiritual connection with him but idk how to make that part work