I definitely don't want to be a jealous girlfriend. I don't want my partner to feel like he has to ask permission to spend time with his friends. I want him to cut loose and be able have a good time without me. I don't want my own worth to be merited by his value in me. Unfortunately, however, I am fearful and insecure. I hate feeling like I'm always left out. Like he doesn't enjoy going out with me. Even that he's embarrassed of me and my weight gain and resulting low self esteem. I hate feeling like he'll meet someone who's pretty and doesn't nag him about the laundry or argue with him about finances. Some girl who goes to the same bar and likes to do fun things. Someone who could take him away from me. Or make him wish I was different. I almost hate that he doesn't sit at home and worry about the same things.