I just need to rant for a few minutes. Ignore if you want, I don't care. I just need to let it out.

I was diagnosed with PCOS in July. I've literally never had a normal period, and honestly, the gyno straight up told me she isn't even sure that's really what it is. With the exception of slightly elevated testosterone levels (seriously, they are less than 10 points above normal, which even my doctor will say isn't t conclusive), everything else is freaking normal. I'm not insulin resistant, I have some body hair on my stomach, but I have no idea if it's more than "normal" because most ladies don't flipping talk about that. I don't have cysts. Literally nothing but painful irregular heavy periods.

So, my gynecologist decides to try flipping Mirena because I have already been on 5+ different forms of the pill and even the Depo shot, and literally nothing worked. Well, insertion wasn't bad. But I'm going on week of bleeding number 3 now. I've had at least one 3+ month long period a year since I turned 20, and I have already had my three months of hell this year. I cannot handle another one. Correction, I will not because I'm tired of this bullsh*t.

And the cramps are debilitating. I have literally had to stop teaching a class, walk out, and go puke because my cramps are so bad before Mirena. But now, I break down in tears. I wake up in the middle of the night bawling because they hurt so bad. I ball up in a ball at my desk because I can't move from the pain, I sit in the grocery store for minutes with my head resting on my buggy and breathing like I am giving birth because screaming and wriggling around in pain isn't socially acceptable. I have tried heat, im taking 4 ibuprofen every 4 hours just to maintain so I can continue on almost normally. But I'm tired of this. I'm worn down mentally, I know my liver and kidneys are not happy. I'm just tired of it.

I was at my breaking point with my awful periods in January. Now I'm done. I honestly would rather have a hysterectomy than go trough this another month, let alone another 20+ years until I hit menopause. THis stupid Mirena has pushed me over the edge. But I know insurance won't cover a hysterectomy at my age since I'm only 24. I honestly think I would be so much happier not having to deal with this anymore. I'm over it.

And honestly I feel like saying all this to my doctor will basically result in her not taking me seriously. I'm just over it al.