Disappointed

I have suffered with anxiety and depression for about 7 years now. And been on antidepressants for about 4 years.

I was advised to come off my antidepressants before 22 weeks to decrease the possible risks. (Which I knew would be a bad idea to be honest)

I'm now almost 26 weeks

So after some bad side effects (shivers, chills, sweats and vomiting) I came off it.

My mood is currently ridiculously low and my midwife said she feels I need the antidepressants as if I carry on like this I won't be able to be a good mother. So they have put me on 20mg Zoloft or fluoxetine and have just found out I won't be able to breastfeed, which I am completely devastated about.

Any word of encouragement would help me feel not like a terrible person would be appreciated.